Richard In Thailand: Tonight Matthew.. I'm going to be..

Anyone who knows me will know that I am just a little bit obsessed with music. Sadly the countless hours of listening to records while singing to myself and dancing around my bedroom have failed to develop much proficiency in the skills of singing and dancing. Not that I've ever let that stop me from having a lot of fun when I go to nightclubs or karaoke.

Signing karaoke at a pub in England can be a rather harrowing experience… stepping up to the microphone on a raised stage in front of a baying mob of drunken strangers. Obviously if you can pull it off, performing in front of a crowd can give you an amazing buzz. But as I mentioned before I am no professional singer and karaoke can easily go horribly and painfully wrong.

I think it must be a little in joke amongst karaoke DJs that they change the pitch of the song ever so slightly from that of the record. Why else would it be that suddenly you can't hit the notes of the very same song that you so successfully warbled in the shower that morning? The problem is that once you're on stage and the song has started there's nowhere to hide. You've got to finish it, weird pitch changes or not and the stage can be a pretty lonely place when you're messing it up.

Another flaw in the English karaoke system is the waiting. If the pub is busy, after handing in your little slip of paper and downing a quick drink to settle your nerves, you can be waiting for 30 minutes or an hour before you get the chance to sing. By this time overenthusiastic dosing of "dutch courage" may well have further limited your already limited singing talent. Rarely would you get the chance to sing more than two songs in an evening, so there isn't much chance to get in the practice one needs to make perfect.

It doesn't have to be this way!

In Asia, where karaoke is insanely popular there is an alternative.

In Thailand you can hire out a small room by the hour and sing with a group of friends. Often drinks and even food can be ordered to the room and you can sing till your hearts content, avoiding the various stresses and inconveniences discussed above.

Look back at the dodgy curtain in the UK.. just how much cooler is this?

You're singing in front of your friends, so the stress and public humiliation factors are removed. If you chose a song and then realise half way though the first verse that you can't sing it you can just cancel it and get on with the next one. If the pitch is a bit off you can usually adjust it yourself to suit your vocal range. And of course with just you and your friends singing you can get through a lot more songs.

Another bonus is that you don't have to sit through ear-drum bursting out of tune versions of "I Will Always Love You" or be subjected to drunken wailings of "I Will Survive" by wronged women. Although I guess that depends who your friends are.

I don't know this girl.. she's probably a very good singer.. but her mouth is open unaturally wide

If you miss the magic of performing in front of a real audience, there are still plenty of karaoke bars in Thailand. But at least you can get some practice in private and perfect your performance before you get up on the stage.

I'm trying to learn some Thai songs at the moment, half to baffle / impress my Thai friends and half in a genuine attempt to learn a bit more of the language. Although quite how often I'll be able to use phrases like "love has pierced my heart, I try to pull it out but it won't come out" is another question. Below are You Tube links to my top 5 karaoke songs. They all have English transliteration so you too can sing along!!

1. Bie - I Need Somebody